March 29, 2010
Today, when I became short of breath for the fifty millionth time, I realized no one ever sits down to
tell you everything negative about being pregnant. They only glorify anything and everything they
consider to be "great" about pregnancy: the thick, lush hair (if you're lucky!); the long, strong nails;
the radiant glow (yeah right!), and anything else they think is sooooooo great.
So, here is my list for what isn't so great, and I am sure there are other women out there who agree.
Shortness of breath--I am not talking about, "Oh no, I am a little winded." No, this is all day every
day as soon as you begin the third trimester (or sooner) from the fetus pushing all your organs up and your
diaphragm smashing your lungs.
Peeing-- Sure, you feel the urge to go all the time, but no one tells you that when you sneeze, you'll
piss all over yourself. If you're lucky, it's just a little. Unfortunately, you don't always realize
how full your bladder is, so having spare panties AND pants/skirt/whatever you wear is always ideal.
Being an emotional wreck-- So many times I have cried for no reason at all. I ask myself, "WTF am I
crying for?" and that makes me cry even more... pathetic.
Fatigue-- Some websites will tell you about the fatigue you'll get... like two lines. As soon as 12:00
comes rolling around, I'm dying for a nap. I get home around 3:00pm and am exhausted. I can't wait to curl
up in my bed and just snooze. I wake up around 6pm just to be exhausted again around 9pm and have to wake
up at 5am.
Sleeplessness-- No wonder we feel fatigued, we can't freaking sleep at night. So many times Amancio has
woke me up to perfect his dance moves and his soccer practice. Not to mention I can't get into a
comfortable position. So, around the midnight-3am time frame, I'm up and anxious to get back to bed.
Acne-- Oh yeah, not everyone has radiant skin. If you're like me, you find out you're pregnant because
the birth control that got rid of your teenage acne suddenly says it isn't working. Living in Japan is
a terrible place to have this problem, because Japanese women feel no shame in saying, "Oh wow, you have
terrible acne," as if it's no big deal. Half the time in my first trimester I wanted to shove my head
into the sand so my boyfriend didn't have to see the ugly on my face... which no amount of foundation could
hide.
Nappy hair-- Yeah, you get thick hair... but it's nappy. I tried salon-brand shampoo/conditioner, I've tried
store-brand, I tried the dollar brand! Nothing gets my hair silky smooth anymore. In fact, I can't even
brush it if it's wet. I have to dry it first!
Backaches-- My lumbar (lower back) is dying! What I would give for a massage on the daily... sadly most
salons don't have prenatal massages, so I had to do some digging. Not to mention, it feels like you just
need to crack your back, which is hard to do with that big uterus in the way.
Leg cramps-- Anyone with RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome) has experienced leg cramps and the trouble it
causes when you're trying to drift off to dreamland. Now multiply that by like 4 and you have pregnancy
leg cramps. Not to mention, the drugs they give you for RLS cannot be taken while you're pregnant. So,
how do I solve this problem? I get as much magnesium and potassium I can throughout the day. Both help soothe muscles. When I am doing PT, I am sure to stretch out my calves. I stay away from food high in
Phosphorus as it will increase cramping. Also, I pop a Benadryl at bedtime (one of the few
safe drugs to take during pregnancy; stay away from Sudafed). This antihistamine makes you
drowsy and is AMAZING for that pregnancy insomnia.
Forgetfulness-- My boss always asks me, "Did you do this report?" No, I didn't. Why? I forgot! Not that,
"I don't feel like doing that, so let me think of something else" forgetfulness. Literally, "I have to do
this... wait, what do I have to do??" forgetfulness. My solution: I write EVERYTHING down. My desk is
covered in sticky notes reminding me what I have to do for the day. Not to mention it helps with the feeling
of being overwhelmed when I can see what needs to be done and then crossing it off.
Thirst-- I drink about a gallon (about 4 litres) of water a day. The shoppett sells these 2 litre bottles
of water, so I am quick to nab them for $1/each. However, I am still thirsty! This is probably why I sneeze
and piss myself.
Irritability-- People I love, I hate them. Sometimes, I just want to smash my boyfriend's face because
he drives me crazy. What's he doing? Things I loved before I got pregnant. The poor guy has no idea what
to do either. Just shut up and love me. (O€O)
Overwhelmingness-- I mentioned this in the Forgetfulness bullet, but yeah. So many times I feel overwhelmed
with things I would have done in an hour pre-pregnancy. I get more than two or three tasks and I am a mess!
Good thing I have unlimited sticky notes (relax, they get recycled).
Pregnancy doesn't sound so wonderful now, now does it? Not to mention I only get 42 days to get back into
shape. I weighed around 95 pounds (42 kg) before pregnancy and am up to 51 kg. I feel fat. I look at
myself and see a house. And you may be thinking, "Shut up, you whiny bitch." Well, I would love to see
you get pregnant and gain some weight and not complain. Most women gain about 30 pounds. You might be
asking why I haven't gained so much. One--morning sickness in the first trimester caused me to lose 10 pounds
(4.5 kg), second I don't eat everything in sight. Yeah, chocolate cake is good, but I don't want to eat
it. When I want to snack, I am mostly snacking on baby carrots. I eat a lot of fruit--kiwi, apples, oranges,
bananas... I bought a melon at the commissary I still have to cut up and devour. Lastly, I get off my
ass and exercise. I was on the 10-miler team, so I love to run. The feeling you get after running is one
of the best feelings in the world. When I am running, I feel empowered. Like, I can do anything. Sadly,
the best I have ever done on a PT test was 95% on the run. :-(
Maybe this will encourge those women on Maury to wear a condom or get some birth control. Pregnancy is
terrible. Many people will try to rebuttle by saying it brings another human life into the world... so?
The world has 7 billion people, what makes another person so special. Granted, I do love my fetus, but he's
not the only child going to be born this year and after all the crap he's put me through... geesh. Last
pregnancy ever... for me at least. Some people should consider it, too.
