Good evening loyal readers. Today was very uneventful, since I was rained out and forced to stay inside while outside loomed dreadful 3° C weather.
Needless to say, I have sat inside since yesterday morning when I bid Akiyuki adu. He went hunting, yes, I understand how funny that is.
Anyways, I haven't been outside in two days and I am feeling the cramp pushing for when I leave Monday evening. I am going to miss this place, the
crazies that steal iPods, the weirdos that get stabbed in Taco Bell, and yes, even the monstruos that honk at me though I am pushing a baby carriage.
Yes, I have spent some good time in Garden City, and a great time in Michigan.
So, what will become of me in the future? I do not know yet. I have a lot of things I wish to happen and a lot of things I pray won't happen and I
have a feeling I'll be negotiating a lot.
You are probably wondering why I chose South Carolina over Japan, simple really. Though I have not released where in South Carolina I am going, I did
say where in Japan I was headed. That was to Sagamihara. Sagamihara isn't a big city. And let's face it. I am 152 cm and 41 kg. I am a tiny girl.
And I did honestly have doubt in my mind whether the user U2 would hop on a plane to Japan to do something.
Gay men are being murdered for being open. I have a feeling someone who dislikes my Japanese could and would murder me over my responses. Yes, people
these days are crazy. So, I wanted to protect my family and let my company know I no longer wish to go to Japan. So, South Carolina was one place they
offered for me to go. And I took it.
Sadly, South Carolina is still cold. I checked with The Weather Channel and it's around 16° average this time of
year. Warmer than Michigan, yes. As warm as Salta, no. Where I am from, it's usually around 30° this time of year. Very nice. I miss it. I hope to
go back soon.
"Have you ever Googled yourself?" I was asked today. Until now, I never
had such a notion. So, I took the person up on their offer. First, I googled my whole name. By "whole" I mean my given name and my maiden name. Nothing
much came up except my Yahoo! Answer's page. Which is because my user name is my maiden name. Then, I did my next search on my middle name and my last
name, The name I go by. There were a few pages, but then I realized again that I am really a nobody. Saddening, no?
I want to make a difference some how, but I am not sure on what I can do. It's true I walk to most of my destinations, rather than using my Saturn, which
is already eco-friendly. But, that alone doesn't matter much, I suppose. So, now I contemplate... what does the world want? Well, what do you want?
I feel I should do more... I donate to my parroquia, usually about $5 a week. Is that too little? Am I not helping enough starving children around
the world? I do the children's service help, I have a child in India who is almost 12 now, I have been her sponsor since I was 14. I wanted to help
out then, and I am glad. I can spare the $0.89/daily to help her in rural India, but should I take on another. Then instead of $24/monthly have $48/monthly?
Is that too little? Is that too much?
The point I am trying to come across is everyone tries to make their mark some how on God's green earth, but now I struggle on how I will leave mine.
I fear no one cares, which in itself is a sad thought. So, now I will ponder this as I ponder other ideas wedged in the
back of my mind, tucked under my cerebellum later to be pulled out, forgotten, left to rot. Then I'll untwist, unwind, try
to remember what it is I tried desperately so hard not to forget. Life is so cruel, people are so cruel, and memories
are only there to burden those
who can even remember at all. Perhaps I should just forget...Home
